11.09.2003 | 8:51 pm

I have made the decision to let Monday, tomorrow, be my last day of school. Many things have brought me to this decision, but the most important factor is the amount of medication I have had to take in order to be on my feet all day long to teach. Today and yesterday I really took life slowly. Guess what??? I was able to cut my medication use in half! I know that this is the thing I must do, even though it will mean losing my last paycheck. Then, of course, having to wait for the disability payments to kick in will be a stretch. I feel that in the long run, my body will heal faster if I go into the surgery rested and anxiety free. It is interesting the reactions many of my friends have expressed as I have told them the news. Some don�t understand chronic, long term pain, and think I am silly to give up. Others, especially those who have experienced surgery and the pain associated with it, are much more understanding. Even my daughters have differing opinions. Oldest daughter, the newlywed, has been through some stressful medical situations in her life, and thinks I have made a good decision. Marie, although a sweetheart, doesn�t really understand stress, anxiety and somewhat of panic when it comes to medical situations. She has been relatively healthy all her life, and was blessed with her grandmother�s easy-going personality. I do know, however, that she cares about me and the upcoming ordeal, and wants the best for me.

Today has been a most unusual Sunday. Hubby has been sick since Friday night, and finally went to bed last night to stay there through church and a full schedule of scouting responsibilities. He ran a fever all through the night and has a terrible sore throat. I think he has strep and will eventually have to go to the DR. He is an interesting man, as are all men, when it comes to doctors. As a child, his uncle, a doctor, was always around to treat any illness he had. He rarely had to go the doctor�s office to be treated. Since we have been married, I don�t think he has been for a regular visit or check-up ever. Once, every year or so, he gets a physical to go on some scout activity, but surely not a complete exam. I have wondered lately, if he will become seriously ill one of these days, and it will be too late because he wouldn�t get regular exams. Oh well...

Tomorrow I will have my last day with the squirrels. Tuesday is Veteran�s Day, with no school. I�m sure I will be at school, preparing units and instructions for the long-term substitute. I am sad in a way, but relieved on the whole. My substitute is a new teacher, having just finished her student teaching. She is a former police officer, and has two children attending my school. I feel she will have the strength and organizational skills needed to take over and help the class stay on track academically. Although, I�m sure she will have her �baptism by fire�... as do all new teachers. It is inevitable.

Once I leave the class in capable hands, I am going to try and get organized for Christmas in the remaining days before the surgery. I have a few �hand-made� projects to do, as well as some on-line ordering to finish. I was also thinking today that I need to stock up on all my make-up, shampoo, gel, hair spray, body powder and the like, as I don�t really trust hubby to do those chores for me when I am laid up. I also need some new night gowns and a new robe. I have a feeling I will need to be somewhat presentable when I get home...visitors, you know.

All my children and grandchildren talked to me today. That was nice. Melanie and Meredith always cheer me up when I am down. I am counting on them to keep my spirits up through the next three months.

Catsnapples~ in 2nd grade and at life

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