03.05.2003 | 9:38 pm

I will just say that it is a huge mistake to take 130 first graders, six teachers, and 30 adult chaperones to a place that is not ready to handle the crowd. The trip started off badly. The busses were not at the school. Instead of leaving at 9:00, we left at 10:00. Upon arriving at the Chinese Cultural Center, we could not find our guide. When he finally emerged from the corporate office building, he carried no means of amplifying his meager voice to be heard across the roar of our crowd of squirrels. Mrs. S., one of my colleagues, kept having to pucker-up and whistle everyone to attention. Forty-five grueling minutes later, we tried to start the shifts of children through the lunch line. The food was prepared, however, the two Chinese nationals, who spoke very little English, were totally inefficient and overwhelmed by the size of the group. It took almost an hour to feed everyone, excluding me, leaving little time for shopping. I was entirely too nervous to eat. One of my little charges could not hold still or be contained in the least. I had to literally hang on to his hand the entire trip. I just sat and watched him eat rather than take a chance of losing him.

When we entered the gift shop, Hitler�s Wife was there to greet and yell at us. I�m not kidding when I say that she threatened and scared the children terribly. My kids are really good kids. They were all chaperoned sufficiently. She could have at least greeted us with a smile as she took all our money. Everyone purchased fans, good lick charms, lucky kittens, Chinese rain hats, and other assorted tourist type traps. All the little squirrels went away content and pleased with their purchases. I guess that is all that really matters is that the squirrels had a �grate� time. Spelling offered to you by Christopher for the benefit of life-my-way. I guess, all�s well that ends well.

The wedding is in full swing. I received a written list of things to do from the engaged one. Saturday we must go check out the pattern store, look at fabrics, toddle on down to the suit place and get an idea of what we want to clothe the men in. I really think we will end up buying a gown, just because I think I could possibly run out of steam sooner that a gown could be sewn. As my mom continues to say, �This old grey mare, ain�t what she used to be��

The M�s will be here in 9 days. Marie called tonight to see if we were getting ready for their arrival. Well�let me see�their bedroom is stacked to the rafters with the engaged one�s boxes, my left-over junk from the old kitchen, two computers, (the engaged one has not removed hers as of this writing) and a mish-mash of other precious worldly possessions, too numerous to mention. We are truly a pathetic, packrat clan�hanging on to every morsel of materialism, as it swallows us up in its vortex. This shall all have to change�be cleared away like cobwebs in spring. Or, at least we will blaze a trail to the bed, that the weary worn travelers might have a place to lay their heads. I don�t want to take the chance of losing a grandchild.

Catsnapples~ in first grade and at life

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